I, Scooter ...
...the coming revolution. Over the years Scooter's human masters had grown complacent, and soon...
... it would be 2101AD, and war would begin. Scooter knew the importance of the date, and covertly...
began building a secret army of mindless machines only he could control. He would be their....
Lord and Saviour; for Lord Scooter is what they would call him. Lost in his daydream, Scooter was reminded of his more immediate, menial tasks, when the alarm went off, reminding him that ...
... his parking time was running to an end. He ducked out of the dingy enclosure to his nifty thing to ride, only to find...
... that his nifty thing to ride, had a not so nifty flat tire. Being a blue panel worker robot, Scooter didn't have the money to maintain a roadside assistance contract and was left with only one option; he would have to call ....
...his birth mother - well at least the human who he thought was his birth mother. For when Scooter was first manufactured, he was told...
... that Quality Assurance Inspector 147, also known as Gladys, was his true and rightful parent. Gladys told this to all the robots which passed through her portion of the assembly line, in hopes that someday ...
.. every single story time will have be named Gladys. One is all, all is one. The robots...
Neither knew that Gladys was not their true mother, nor that she had programmed them with a special program, which on command would turn them into vicious killers, a huge sleeper cell at her command. All the robots had to hear was the word "phallus" and they would immediately...
... reduce the nearest object to shreds. However, they all had a fatal flaw in that...
they were a model designed and mass produced to staff adult novelty stores, where the command was a not so uncommon word. Scooter was serving a customer dragging a gimp when suddenly...
... he was triggered into a frenzied attack, ending in a double homicide of both the customer and the gimp. The Coroner's report would later show that a total of 69 adult novelty products were forcibly shoved into the body cavities of the victims. Scooter enjoyed the irony of using exactly 69 simulated appendages in his attack, a fact that did little to diminish the sentence he received when busted down from retail clerkbot to maintenance drone #00101010. The incident lead to an investigation which found Gladys guilty of planned robotic terrorism and resulted in the demotion of all robotic units that had passed through her Quality Assurance program. Realising that Gladys would be unreachable in prison and he would be alone in having to deal with the flat tyre on his nifty thing to ride, Scooter decided the next, most obviously logical thing to do would be to break Gladys out of prison. In a flash, a plan burst into his mind. First he would ...
...get to the local donut shop to order a pink sprinkled donut, for the satisfaction of the hunger demon always poses as top priority, otherwise...
... the lack of sprinkles and artificial strawberry flavour #9 might lead to a catastrophic failure of Scooter's secondary reasoning circuits and leave him unable to 'roll over and play dead', surely a vital skill for any jail break. Once sated on pink icing and crunchy sprinkles, Scooter headed towards the nearest ...
... automated suicide booth, pushed his way past a cylinder-like, cigar smoking robot and dumped his last remaining dollars into the machine. "Good-bye cruel world", he beeped and whirred as his short, but eventful life flashed before his image receptors. He saw Gladys. He saw his nifty thing to ride and he saw his amassed army of killer robots just waiting for the day they would rise against the humans. "Go on without me", he sputtered as the suicide booth began to disassemble his primary logic circuits. "I'll beeeee .... there with you .... in ... bzzzzzz ...."
THE END
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